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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Awkward NYE of the Century

Slings and Arrows, King Lear, television, Adaptation, December 31st, 2008.

A man I've known for five days is living in the room next to me (renting the second bedroom) and the most dramatic thing about it is that after all the (self and girl-friend imposed) drama of who is this person, am I going to have my stereo, dogs, tv, two computers and identity (i.e., electric bill) stolen, what concerns me most is that he can hear me pee. It is so utterly strange to have a straight man my age sleeping in my house who I'm not sleeping with. And not only that, he can hear me pee.

I leaped through fiery hoops to make a second bedroom and bathroom into something neat, something private, something livable for a temporary housemate, but it's never the same as what you thought it was going to be is it? And what has really thrown me is that this most intimate of acts, peeing and making other 59-year-old girl morning noises less than 8 feet away (despite the closed door and the armchair), is embarrassing as all get out. This old hippie who used to run blithely naked around the living room. Who curses like a sailor and is otherwise so easy going, so loose, so relaxed. Why didn't I think about this part?

I have found myself waiting till he goes outside to smoke (thank God for deal-breakers) to take my morning....well, you know.) I am beyond ridiculous.

Children are starving, whole countries are riddled with AIDS and bombs and I'm flummoxed by my own pee noises.

He has multiple ex-spouses, grown children, so do I, we're both grownups, right? This is so fucking weird. It's not bad or wrong or anything remotely negative, and he's interesting as all getout, it's just ODD as all getout.

But it turned out okay. He went to sleep at 11:30 and I sat outside with my dogs listening to firecrackers and gunfire. Happy New Year from the Hood.

2 Comments:

Blogger girlybot said...

This is just body function paranoia. I think all women have it, on some level. It's like you are totally fine having all kinds of weird sex with a guy, and then the first time you fart in front of him... it's over. Or vice versa. You know?

That said, my ex used to poop with the door open and talk to me while he was doing it.

Some things just NEED to be sacred. That's what magazines are for!!!!

6/1/09 1:29 PM  
Anonymous Dale said...

Pee openly, but quietly. Peeinissimo.

29/1/09 4:54 AM  

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