So fat so fat so fat

that I can't stand myself anymore, so I signed up at the Y down the street. In Oak Cliff the Y down the street means, thus far, that I am the only white person there. I've only been down twice: once to sign up, and once for my first swim, yesterday. I was still the only white person there. There was something at once wonderfully comforting and vaguely anonymous about this. I didn't know anybody so I just sort of put my coverup and water bottle and flip flops down at one end of the pool, not quite knowing what ELSE to do.

This was yesterday, Saturday, the last hour before the pool closed. I drove around for an hour before this, trying to find a bathing suit that would fit me, since I haven't bought one in years and just didn't want anyone to see this body in a bathing suit....finally found one at Burlington, and only in one day's retrospect can I say that I should have gotten a size smaller.

Sheesh, maybe it will shrink in the dryer.

I swam in spurts. Half laps were the only things available and I did what I could, sidestroke, breast stroke, backstroke, and realizing that if I really want to swim I need some goggles.

More later.