The Spitfire Audition Sucked
That was the worst audition I have done in ten years. It sucked so bad. It sucked giant donkey dicks. It sucked violently. It sucked so bad the word suck is embarrassed and has asked me in future not to use its name in vain.
Oh, Pam, please, you say. For GOD sake would you stop with all the drama. It couldn't have been THAT bad you say, you are SO over-reacting.
No, I'm telling you, it sucked. I have been a professional actress for nigh onto, I dunno, 35 plus years now. And I'm telling you, I know when an audition sucks and this one sucked.
If Jerry calls me back it will only be because he turned to the musical director, whose name was said once and I immediately forgot because I was so busy sucking, and said, you know what, Pam is really a much better actress/singer than this. We should give her another chance. She definitely sucked tonight, but she's really not that bad.
On the other hand, I would not be remotely surprised if he said, instead, MAN, Pam totally sucked tonight, no WAY am I calling her back.
I"m sure I'll edit this tomorrow but I had to just get it out. The good news is that I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore so it's serving nicely as a landing place for my occasional hysteria.
UPDATE: So that was Sunday night, and two or three days later, way too early to even start wondering, since the callbacks aren't for another two weeks, I get a call from Jerry - would I like to do the role. And I'm all, but my audition SUCKED....and he's all no, we didn't think it sucked at all and you know, the musical director (Aaron, I think is his name) he doesn't even know you and he didn't think you sucked, and you don't need to come to callbacks. And there were some GOOD people who were up for this Pam, and then he named some names of some ladies who are damned good, but we think you're the one, so would you like to do Hannah. And of course I, aware of the irony of this moment, gratefully said yes.
What all this makes me wonder is if ALL actors go through this or if I'm the only one whose self-perception completely and utterly SUCKS?
Oh, Pam, please, you say. For GOD sake would you stop with all the drama. It couldn't have been THAT bad you say, you are SO over-reacting.
No, I'm telling you, it sucked. I have been a professional actress for nigh onto, I dunno, 35 plus years now. And I'm telling you, I know when an audition sucks and this one sucked.
If Jerry calls me back it will only be because he turned to the musical director, whose name was said once and I immediately forgot because I was so busy sucking, and said, you know what, Pam is really a much better actress/singer than this. We should give her another chance. She definitely sucked tonight, but she's really not that bad.
On the other hand, I would not be remotely surprised if he said, instead, MAN, Pam totally sucked tonight, no WAY am I calling her back.
I"m sure I'll edit this tomorrow but I had to just get it out. The good news is that I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore so it's serving nicely as a landing place for my occasional hysteria.
UPDATE: So that was Sunday night, and two or three days later, way too early to even start wondering, since the callbacks aren't for another two weeks, I get a call from Jerry - would I like to do the role. And I'm all, but my audition SUCKED....and he's all no, we didn't think it sucked at all and you know, the musical director (Aaron, I think is his name) he doesn't even know you and he didn't think you sucked, and you don't need to come to callbacks. And there were some GOOD people who were up for this Pam, and then he named some names of some ladies who are damned good, but we think you're the one, so would you like to do Hannah. And of course I, aware of the irony of this moment, gratefully said yes.
What all this makes me wonder is if ALL actors go through this or if I'm the only one whose self-perception completely and utterly SUCKS?
Labels: auditions
posted by pamdbigd | 8:06 PM
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